Sunday, June 2, 2013

Friends=Fro Guards

No matter if you rock a TWA, or have curls flowing down your back, we share a common problem. It doesn't matter where you are; talking and joking with friends or in an important meeting, this always seems to happen. 

Yesterday I went to the Grand Prix with Derek. His job was sponsoring one of the drivers so we got in free and was able to enjoy the private lounge area with free food and drinks. There I was, meeting a lot of his co-workers and even a few big wigs at his job. I thought I was looking cute: light makeup, colorful and fun, yet appropriate attire, with a beautiful and defined twist-out. I was a fine example of what a young man's girlfriend should look like at a company's function. 

I excused myself to go to the restroom before we hit the grandstands to look at the actual race. Once I got in there and took a look in the mirror: I was horrified at my reflection. There was all kinds of mess stuck in my amazing, fluffy twist-out! A speckle of pollen to the left, some  mysterious green strands of something ungodly at the crown, and few spots of little cotton balls to the right. As my fingers immediately dug into my Fro to retract all of the foreign objects out of it, I wondered why no one, including my boyfriend, didn't try to pick this mess out of hair or at least notify me of the situation. I mean, what the hell! I was looking like a feather duster just dumped all of its contents onto my hair with my permission. No sir, that's not right!

I tried to understand why no one tried to get this mess out of all of my glory and I had a good theory: there's this unwritten rule that says if you touch a Black woman's hair you'll get dealt with (although I'm an exception to this rule), so maybe that's why people were reluctant to put their hands near my mane. But that still doesn't mean they couldn't speak to me about it. Even if they'd made a hand gesture to clue what was going on above me would've sufficed. Not saying anything is just cruel. 

That's why I feel as though if you are going to call yourself a friend of mine, it is your automatic duty to notify me at any given time (immediately would be best), if I have anything at all in my hair. After all, if I'm your true friend, you wouldn't allow me to look like a mess next to you because that would reflect negatively on yourself. Right? 
From now on I'm calling my friends my Fro guards. Just like a body guard protects you from harms way, your Fro guards must protect your hair from getting something entangled in its curls. Make sense right?

Tell me what you think! Have you notice you got crap stuck in your hair after hanging with your friends for awhile? Go off in the comments below!


  1. This hasn't happened to me, but something similar. Like a twist has somehow separated from the group and was sticking straight up or to a random side. Why has no one told me that i look like Alfalfa! really tho?!? I'm down for Fro Guards!

  2. I'm with you, Chary. I would want someone to tell me something is lodged in my hair, just like I would want them to tell me that I have gross food remnants on the side of my mouth after a meal. Many people are afraid of doing so, though (myself included).

  3. YES!!! I get it and been there so Fro Guards is cool idea

  4. In the UK, I think it's more about people not wanting to upset someone than about not touching a black woman's hair... I've seen other people with weird things attached to their hair/clothes and not said a thing!

  5. Omg.... Did u say anything to ur boyfriend afterward?
    That happen to me too but I was with my sister and she told me that I had something in my hair.

  6. For me, it depends on who I'm hanging out with because some of my friends wouldn't blink twice to pull some random thing out of my hair and others won't do that. I also have a few classmates that are also natural and will help me out when I have no idea there's something in my hair. Thank goodness for them!

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  8. How about you're at dinner with some friends only to find out later when you're looking in the mirror there is lettuce, spinach, broccoli, or parsley, stuck in your teeth while you've been laughing and enjoying yourself this whole time and no one said anything?!?!

    I think most people who happened to notice something isn't quite right or a little off may be a little reluctant to say something because they don't know how the other person may take it. So in turn they ignore it and hope that you figure it out on your own so as to not cause you embarrassment in the process.

    What if that green "speck of food" in your teeth turns out not to be lettuce, spinach, broccoli, or parsley, but just a green The person that just brought it to your attention just embarrassed the hell out of you and is now feeling most uncomfortable and awkward.

    To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

    If we're friends I would indeed tell you. So what who cares.

  9. Oh Charjay, sorry to hear that. Since I just started my journey that has not happened to me yet, when it does I will let you know. Did you mention it to Derek, gently?

  10. No, I'm not one of those people. If you have boggers in your nose, chocolate of your cheek or hair out of place I'm going to tell you, in a nice way. Because I would want you to tell me the same thing. If you and I are together I want both of us to look nice and feel confident that we are at our best. So if I've got something on my face, in my hair or up my nose PLEASE tell me, it won't hurt my feelings. I will be more hurt and angry if I got home and found out that I've had broccoli in my teeth all day and my best friend or boyfriend didn't lean over and quietly say, "hey, you might want to check your teeth." When I'm out eating with my friends or my sister if someone gets food on their face, I'll motion with my hand to the area on their face and say, "wipe your face right there," and we just go on with our conversation or chuckle about it and it's no big deal. My guy and I were at a baseball game and I had something in my nose and he never mentioned it. When we got back to the car I checked my face (because it was so sunny I wanted to see how much sun my face had gotten) and I noticed the boggers in my nose. I was so angry that he never said anything!!! He just brushed it off as no big deal - but I had been talking to him and to other people at the game and I know they probably saw it - I felt so stupid. So yes, if you see something, say something.

  11. LOL, I feel you thankfully i'm usually with my sis and if something is in there that isn't suppose to be either she'll get it or I'll do a mirror check if i've been in heavy wind and find it myself, but yeah your man was wrong for that...

  12. I had that happen to me before and someone did say something to me about it. But there has been lots of times no one has said any thing to me I had to see it for my self. I hate that cause most of the time the people you roll with knows its there and just don't say a word SMH.