"What kind if hair is that," she asked.
I put the can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup in a bag, looked up and gave her a puzzled look.
"I'm just wondering because it looks so real," she said while she examined my strands.
"Ummm, this is my real hair," I said while trying to return my attention to the rest of her items on the conveyor belt.
"Really?"
"Yep, really?"
"Well let me touch it then."
I'm not exactly sure what look I gave her in response to that craziness, but eventually I let her grab a chunk of my hair to prove to this woman that my thick, shortly below shoulder length hair, was in fact all mine and not because I had some receipt.
As she grabbed her groceries, she smiled and said "Well, it definitely is pretty. You're so lucky to have hair like that."
While that wasn't the first time someone asked me if my hair was real, it was the first time someone asked to touch it (the scalp specifically to check for tracks). Now that I'm natural, I get asked if people can touch my hair more than questions of the authenticity of my kinky curls.
It wasn't until yesterday's post on Instagram that I was reminded of the incident that happened in college. Now I wasn't offended that this woman thought I used weave to bulk up or elongate my twists for the protective style, but it was quite funny to read the reactions of some of my followers.
But that made me wonder: do some of you get upset when people assume that your natural hair is fake? Also, does it make you more or less upset if or when someone asks to touch your hair? Let me know in the comments below!
It does not make me upset it just surprises me when it comes from a fellow person of color. I have a white coworker from Australia who constantly asks if my hair is mine depending on the hair style. I also have a coworker who is white who swear one day she will have an afro...lol
ReplyDeleteI have had women of color tell me that putting their hair in double strand twists will look strange without the use of extension. i don't get it. i guess it is all about confidence and loving your own texture.
I've had this happen to me many times, more when I was relaxed. My hair is thick and a good length. It offended me that it was so hard to believe that my hair could be nice. People have this strange idea that black people can not grow a nice head of hair. I hated feeling I had to prove I didn't purchase the hair on my head! These days I don't care so much and I don't let anyone stick there grimy hands in my hair. I have nothing to prove anymore.
ReplyDeleteI had the opposite experience when a beautiful sistah with 4B/C tresses was helping me in a clothing store. She had gorgeous 2-strand twists & they were bra strap length. I complimented her on her hair & asked her how long she was natural. She volunteered that she had added Marley hair to her natural tresses which was only lower neck length...and Chary...her hair looked EXACTLY like yours! You never know...so offensive I think not.
ReplyDeleteI've been natural all of my life (new to no heat though) and I honestly didn't know until recently that you could use your real hair for twists like yours. I know that sounds crazy...it's no different than having individual braids but I guess because I have fine hair...never really thought of it...until this past year.
ReplyDeleteWhen others ask if my hair is real I take it as a compliment. I've told Ms.Vaughn playfully "your hair looks so good; like it's fake." Meaning it Always looks Perfect...and effortless. I do however get annoyed when people ask to touch my hair. I almost got into a fight in college bc a girl attempted to touch my hair without asking & I backed away.
I don't know if I get offended or puzzled when people seem shocked that my hair is growing from my own scalp. I do however get offended when it seems as though they think I'm lying. Specifically if they "root check" me while touching my hair.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't get mad when they think its weave! I take it as a compliment. But the touching of the hair depends, like you can touch just done mess up the style, DON'T YANK it to see if its real & don't complain about it being "greasy". Lol you're the one that wanted to touch it.
ReplyDeleteI don't get offended, I just find it funny. Depends on the person I may allow them to touch. My daughter is 2 and I am starting to get those questions on her hair, now that I do get offended, Its not that serious to place weave in a 2 year olds hair..smh.
ReplyDeleteI don't get offended. It's always been out of genuine curiosity, and most of the time it turns into a conversation about maintaining healthy hair or, if they're white, explaining the difference between textures. If I get the chance to educate someone and they're willing to listen? Score for the natural ladies, I say!
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ReplyDeleteI don't get offended if they ask if it's my hair. Ok...I do get a little annoyed sometimes at the response they give after I tell them it's mine. Like why are you that shocked? And with the whole touching issue, I do get upset if ppl(especially strangers) just up and start touching my hair. I would rather you ask than to just do that.
ReplyDeleteIt annoys me when a friend of mine wears a curly wig and people compliment her on how big and gorgeous the curls are but then I wear my fro and they overlook me. Like the fake hair is that much more gorgeous or something. Smh.
ReplyDeleteits a complement inmy opinion , tomeweave was always to add...thickness and length. so to askme that hayyy i must have both #teamnatural
ReplyDeleteIt's flattering that people think it's a weave that I'm wearing it let's me know I'm doing something right. But hate it when people want to touch my hair. You can admire from afar unless I invite you to feel my hair.
ReplyDeleteI currently have locks and I have been asked that question both when I was loose natural and with locks! I take it as compliment. Makes me feel like my hair looks too good to be real! =)
ReplyDeleteLove your styles CharJay! God bless
Ditto, I take it as a compliment if asked is that your real hair. To me it means my hair looks great. As far as asking to touch it, well I think it depends on the person and how they ask.
ReplyDeleteI would used the Q Redew to revitalize my dry kinky coily color treated hair. Plus I could keep my hair in a stretched style longer by using the streamer wand.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced this, even when my hair was relaxed. I take it as a compliment. I AM careful when asked to touch my hair because when I was relaxed I did grant that request. I didn't know that the individual would tug at it to make sure that it was really my hair. I look back and laugh, but never again.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand ignorance. Why do so many people assume women of color with pretty hair MUST be fakin it?? Your hair is gorgeous and I'm so happy to be on the natural hair journey too : ) Check out my new Christian blog http://teamjesusuk.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI am barely 6 months natural and people try to touch my hair, I let them because I love the look on their faces when they feel how thick my hair is.
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